Losing someone you love or care for can be one of life’s most painful experiences. Grief can feel overwhelming, and it affects everyone differently. Some people describe feeling numb, while others experience surges of sadness, anger or even relief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it should be considered a process that takes time.
In Queensland, there are services available to help people, their families and loved ones navigate the grieving process. If you are looking for support, PalAssist is available to provide support and navigation during this time. It could be simply a listening ear on a tough day or help to find formal counselling and bereavement services if you feel like you are struggling.
Understanding grief
Grief is considered a natural response to a loss or considerable change in your life. It can affect people in a wide number of ways- emotionally, physically, socially, financially, and more. It might come and go, with short or long durations like waves, and it may be felt more intensely during some periods, like at Christmas or on a birthday. It can sometimes present itself a long time after the bereavement, including months or even years later. The grief response can also begin well before someone physically dies and is referred to as anticipatory grief. Carers, and indeed people facing end of life themselves, can experience anticipatory grief, as they witness decline – be it physically or cognitively.
Grief looks different for everyone- what you see in others may not be what you feel yourself. How we each act, speak, express our loss, or approach grief is as individual as we are. Expressions of grief can be unpredictable, layered or not seen publicly at all. Grief does not follow a fixed path or set stages; it is a deeply personal and varied experience. People may experience:
- Sadness, shock, guilt, anger, or confusion
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- Difficulty concentrating, engaging with a task, or making decisions
- Withdrawal from social activities or ongoing commitments
- Physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, or chest tightness
It is especially important to remember that everyone grieves differently. This can also be true within the same family or friend group. Some find comfort in rituals or talking about their loved one, while others prefer privacy or to be alone with their thoughts. Cultural and spiritual beliefs may shape how grief is expressed, just as a previous bereavement can.
Why support matters
Support during bereavement may help people process emotions and navigate life during and after loss. Support does not have to be formal, and is often led by family, friends and those close to you. This may also come from a spiritual, cultural, or other source of personal meaning. Some people find comfort with those they do not know but who understand what they are dealing with, like a dedicated grief support group. While grief is a universal experience, every person’s response to grief is individual.
For many people, grief becomes a part of their life and over time they find ways to live and adapt without the person they have lost. Sometimes for others there might be feelings of being ‘stuck.’ It is important to seek professional help if you find yourself or others experiencing:
- Intense emotions or low mood that feels too strong or long-lasting and does not ease over time
- An inability to undertake simple daily tasks, like getting out of bed
- Changes to smoking, drinking or drug-taking behaviour
- Thoughts of harming self or others, or wishing to die
Services available in Queensland
If you or someone you know might benefit from further support, there are many ways to access help. Grief and bereavement support is often accessible as part of specialist palliative care services, so reach out and see if they offer any ongoing help in this area. Otherwise, the following may be valuable:
GRIEF AND BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT AND INFORMATION
- Griefline (org.au, 1300 845745) offers free telephone support, online forums, and grief and loss resources.
- Beyond Blue (org.au, 1300 224636) provides mental health support for people, including in grief and loss.
- 13YARN (org.au, 139276) provides 24/7 support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, including for grief, loss and Sorry Business.
- Grief Australia (org.au) provide information and resources about grief. They also offer the My Grief App.
GRIEF AND BEREAVEMENT FOR SPECIAL GROUPS
- Canteen (org.au) provide various supports for young people dealing with grief and loss around cancer
- Kids Helpline (com.au, 1800 551800) runs a 24/7 phone and webchat service for children and young people (aged 5 to 25 years) needing support for any reason, including after a loss.
- ReachOut (reachout.com) provides information and online chat, including about grief and loss, for people aged 16 to 25 years.
- Open Arms (gov.au/get-support, 1800 011046) support Veterans and their families, 24/7.
- QLife (org.au/get-help, 1800 184527) supports LGBTIQA+SB communities, between 3pm and midnight, via phone or webchat.
- Compassionate Friends Queensland (org.au, 1300 064068) supports parents and families after the death of a child, of any age or from any cause.
- Red Nose (org.au, 1300 308307) supports anyone affected by loss of a pregnancy, stillbirth, or death of a baby or child, 24-hours a day.
- Support After Suicide (org.au) offers resources for those bereaved by suicide of a loved one.
CRISIS AND EMERGENCY SUPPORTS
- If you are in an emergency, or your own or anyone else’s life is in danger, call 000(Triple Zero).
- Lifeline (org.au, 13 11 14) provide 24/7 access to crisis support and suicide prevention services. You can also text or chat online.
- 13YARN (org.au, 13 9276) provide 24/7 crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.
- Suicide Callback Service (org.au, 1300 659467) offer 24/7 telephone, chat and video counselling for those over 15 years at risk, or affected by, suicide.
It is always good to also talk with your GP, especially if you cannot find the right support. You can discuss your feelings and situation with another health professional, like our PalAssist Advisors. Some local councils, community health centres and faith-based organisations run grief-specific programs.
Support for children and young people
It is valuable to talk openly with children about death in an age-appropriate way. Reassure them that their feelings are normal. Children can experience grief differently from adults but still need honest information about death. They may not have the words to express their emotions and might need help to understand what will or has happened. Using the correct terms like ‘died’ is important to prevent confusion or problems later. If we use phrases like ‘gone to sleep,’ they may become frightened of going to bed for fear of not waking up later. Similarly, they may be familiar with some words, however it might mean something different to them, like when a video game character ‘dies.’ It is important that children know that death cannot go away and is not reversible. Children will have questions, now or later, about death. They could also appear unaffected while struggling internally.
Older children and young people may become more physically, socially, or emotionally affected in their grief. There may be big feelings, withdrawal, behavioural changes, or effects on mental health. Physically, they may also experience symptoms, like headaches. You can help them by asking what they would like to do, such as attending a funeral or not, or when and who they would like to talk to about their loss. It is important to be flexible, and normalise their feelings, including if they do not wish to talk just yet.
If you feel some additional help may benefit children or young people, support may be available from:
- GP or other health professional
- School counsellor, teachers, or other support services
- Kids Helpline– 24/7 phone and webchat service for ages 5 to 25
- Headspace– mental health and wellbeing support for ages 12 to 25
- Canteen supports young people around cancer in their life
Coping strategies
Grief is a deeply personal experience with no set timeline, but there are approaches that may offer support and help you adapt in a way that feels right for you:
- Seek comfort and share your loss by talking to friends, family or a counsellor
- Continue memories by keeping a journal, planting a tree, or creating a memory book
- Understand your strengths and challengesin grief, such as by joining a bereavement support group
- Care for yourself by maintaining routines, such as regular meals and sleep patterns
- Allow for good days and some not-so-good days. Forgive yourself always.
- Care for others, like grandchildren or pets, who will bring you smiles
- Give yourself time to rest and heal without pressure
- Find yourself a safe space, real or imaginable, where you can ‘just be’ if needed
Spiritual or cultural practices, such as counsel, prayer, rituals or community gatherings, can also provide comfort.
Finding ongoing support
Grief does not follow a timeline. Support may be needed weeks, months or even years after a loss. PalAssist is available, 7am to 7pm, 7 days a week. Our Advisors can simply listen or help you find assistance that meet your needs. They can guide you to local bereavement programs, counselling and community supports.
Grief is a deeply personal journey, but it is not one you have to walk alone. By reaching out to trusted supports and services, you can find comfort, guidance, and strength to navigate life after a loss.